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It looks like you have experienced lot of pain over the end of your marriage. When a relationship ends, it's painful -- whether or not you were the one who ended i t. You go through lots of emotions - rejection, anger, depression, relief, happiness, etc. One day you wake up and say, "I'm over it!" only to find that the next day is your worst. But it does get better. I'm going to say that again for you and for everyone reading: It does get better. Take good care of yourself and think about seeing a counselor. Talking to someone always helps during hard times.
Dating is Out
As for the "singles scene" you mention, forget about it. From what I can tell, there is no singles scene and dating is definitely out . Instead, you should focus on friendships. Make friends with everyone you meet -- men, women, attached, unattached -- everyone who you find interesting. Don't be afraid to ask them to do things with you. If they say "no", so what? Ask the next person you find interesting. One catch: You have to genuinely want to be friends. If you see a beautiful woman and you think, "I'll try to be friends with her so I can sleep with her later" it doesn't work. She'll sense it . The pay-off for making friends is huge. Your life is enriched by wonderful, supportive people, you have many fun times, and you just may end up like one of my friends..
I'm going to three weddings this year. All of the couples owe their love lives to friendship. One couple were friends since elementary school. They stayed in touch over the years and fell in love when they both reached 29 years old. The second were introduced by mutual friends, talked over the phone several times before they saw each other, and met over dinner with these friends. The third couple got to know each other over a year of country dancing. The woman was not attracted to the man, so she considered him her "safety" dancer -- when she didn't have a "real" prospect to dance with, she danced with him. In this no pressure environment, they got to know each other really well before they considered romance. They got married last night and it was a very nice wedding.