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My girlfriend and I have a son together and we live together.  She is divorced and has 3 previous children. Her ex husband has custody of them.

Every morning she gets up and goes to her ex's house and gets the kids off to school after fixing them breakfast. This is all fine and dandy. It is what I would call being a dedicated mother. This isn't all she does though.  She does all the laundry, including her ex husbands, vacuums the house and does the dishes, helps take care of the bills, and does all of the grocery shopping.  At the end of the day she gets the kids off of the bus and feeds the entire family dinner.  When her ex husband goes out of town on business she stays at his home over night sometimes.

Now to the real problem.  I recently learned that her ex will be transferred to a new office in another state.  She informed me that she will have to move also "for the kids."  She stated that she could never keep the kids with her because she wouldn't feel right about having her ex be so far away from them.  I also haven't been able to find out the exact date "they" may move.  I'm always told it's in the near future.

I personally think the entire living arrangement is "weird". I've confronted her about it and she takes great offense saying that it isn't weird but rather "A-typical".hostsm.gif

I feel helpless.  She can't think of letting her ex be away from his children but it is ok for me.

Please help.

Desperate Help Needed

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Linda,

He's right, she's weird...oh and by the way, she's still got a thing for her ex if you ask me.  Run, quickly "desperate" to the closest normal woman you can find!

Susan,

She's worse than weird; she's certifiably nuts. But here's the catch: if she follows her kids to another state (which might not be so weird if it weren't for the other stuff), what happens to THEIR son? Does she take him, too? Then Desperate" really loses. I say, make it clear to Super Mom that the son stays with dad (he'll probably be better off with the more "normal" parent), and let her go. She certainly has precedent in her life for not being able to have custody of her kids...

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Linda,

As usual, you make a good and reasoned point about custody.  If I were this guy, I'd spned my time trying to find a good attorney to help him on this issue.  Best of luck to him.  I'll bet he'll be smarter next time....

Tell us what you think

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