I am a 27 year old office inmate in Sacramento, California. I spent 5 years in a relationship that ended approximately 12 months ago. They say that you should allow yourself 2 weeks to get over someone for every month you were together. I'm not sure if that's true, but I'm afraid of waiting another 18 months to be completely healed.
Compromise Is Better Than Passion
I don't put much stock in "being in love", as in infatuation, as a basis for the long term. Compromise is a better source of longevity than passion. Eventually, people come to the agreement that they are willing to deal with the other person's faults if the other person is willing to deal with theirs. The kicker is that each person's good qualities have to continually outweigh the bad.
You Can't Force Someone To Stay
It's like a game of Rochambeau (Rock-Paper-Scissors) without the Paper. If one of you picks Rock, it doesn't matter if the other one picks Scissors. Rock still wins. Put simply, you can never force someone to stay with you if they want to go.
I'd like to be in love again, to be part of a couple, but I believe it's more important to learn yourself. Life is about changes, about beginnings and endings. The only constant you have is you. You can compromise with your partner, but NEVER change your soul for another person's benefit. EVER. You can't be sold that cheap.
Why would people want to listen to my advice? I'm not sure. I would prefer that people trust their own instincts rather than having to rely on strangers. I am still working on applying this concept to my own life, but it's getting easier every day. However, I do understand the need to connect to people who may have already survived what you are currently experiencing.
In summary, I do believe that there is a match for everyone, and that mine will love me for every aspect of my being. Hopefully, I'll be intelligent enough to recognize my knight when he rides up on his white horse.