Hi. I never do these advice things, but I am kind of desperate. :-O
I am in love with a man that I met in 1991. When we first met, I fell HARD for him. I trembled whenever he walked into a room, I got butterflies whenever I would talk to him face to face, on the phone, etc...We were never intimate, and always "just friends". We came really close to "making out" in a drunken stupor one night, but he stopped it and said that we shouldn't since we were "friends". Well, the years went by, we both had our own lives and relationships and kind of lost touch with each other for while as well. Now, due to the recent death of a close friend back in February, we met up again at the funeral. He is now a part of our "friends gang" once again, and though he lives in a neighboring state now, he drives in every other weekend or so to hang out with us. The very MINUTE I saw him again for the first time, all of those feelings came flooding back. I still tremble in his presence, get butterflies when I talk to him, and just basically think about him all the time.! I am now where I was in 91' only to a stronger degree.
I am in a relationship right now that will be coming to an end on Friday. (Not because of this but because we are just not right for one another and I would rather us end things on an amicable note and be friends than to keep fussing and arguing and end up enemies. It has been escalating for over a year now). The man that I am "with" now also happens to be really close friends with the man that I am in love with. Not sure if this would complicate things, but it might.
He has NO idea that I am having these "feelings" for him again, and I am afraid that if he knew it might scare him off. I feel that he is absolutely GORGEOUS and I feel that I am just "mediocre" from a looks standpoint, but I am working on getting in shape (have lost 25 pounds in 3 months) and bettering my appearance and by extension, my outlook on life, and my self-esteem.
My question is this: SHOULD I tell him how I am feeling, or should I just leave it alone and just consider him my "fantasy man"...? He is absolutely everything that I have ever wanted in a man and then some. I am so confused and frustrated right now. And scared. Help?
Thanks so much...
Confused Mid 30's Gal