Before I lose my mind completely I'll try to explain my situation so maybe someone can give me advice:
After a truly blissful period where we were planning to move in together and dividing holidays between our families, my boyfriend and I went through a very rough period. Things happened out of our control (sickness, car accidents, family problems). Toward the end of this period I graduated from college and have been trying to pay rent with no income.
Needless to say we were both very moody and took a lot of things out on eachother. It got to the point that we knew we would have to break up but I think we still loved eachother so we didn't.
A little over a month ago he said we had to separate because he couldn't stand the unhappiness anymore. I was crushed but said that if he was going to give up I wasn't going to chase him.
His birthday was a couple of weeks later and because I had missed him so much I had a CD made of all of "our songs" and had a package delivered to his work. He called after that crying but said we were past the point of no return. He said he was kind of seeing someone and wasn't happy but at least he wasn't unhappy. Then I started crying and he said that maybe down the road we would get back together but he couldn't think about it now.
This is where the main problem lies. We have hung out a couple times since then and we always end up in bed. He feels guilty afterward because he doesn't want to lead me on and he is kind of cheating on this other girl even though there is no commitment. I ask him why he continues to make the same mistake and he says that he really cares about me and needs me in his life, he just can't explain or describe the feeling.
So, after all of that, is he using me? He never seemed like that kind of person but then again I never thought he would leave me either. Should I break all ties for my own well being? Should I hold onto my last shred of hope that someday soon we will be together? I love him a lot and I miss him constantly. Somebody please help.