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Dear Panel:

Recently, I met a man in a club that I have grown quite fond of. Never have I ever met a guy in a club that I would consider even giving my home # to.  We talked on the phone for a week and then got together one time at my place. I feel that I may have given it up too quick if you know what I mean.  He is quite a catch!!!  However, he went from calling everyday to not calling at all.  What can I do to let him know that I am not some bimbo looking to get laid? yellbut.gif


Lefty Answers:

Ok, PIE, I'm surprised you didn't sign this "TOO LATE"

I don't think it's too late.

. readerTF.gif How can you take back something you've already given away?  But I think you may be focussing on the wrong question.  You're focussing on what YOU want.  You want him.  What does HE want?


Lefty, what has made you so bitter?

maretin.gif It sounds to me like he might have only wanted a one-night stand, no matter how good a catch he is.

There have been countless books written on how long in a relationship one should wait before "giving it up". 

The Rules have Changed

But human nature has NOT changed, we want what we can't get


Having matured in the 70's

I can tell you that the "accepted" timelines for this event have changed drastically each decade.  The extremes range from not having pre-marital sex to the first nighter.  I have friends who have gotten married after getting together the first night.


Yes, but the woman can't admit it

aliciaLtin.gif I also know of many instances where both parties are only in it for sheer, unadulterated gratuitous pleasures. 

You Both Need the Same Understanding

The best mix is when both partners have the same understanding.

Your good catch does not seem to have the same understanding as you.  I believe that he might very well have

I absolutely agree...

readerTF.gif reacted the same way whenever you "gave it up" (if he would have hung around long enough), although this belief goes against commonly accepted urban legends. 

It is probably time for you to go after the next "catch" and make sure that both you and he are on the same wavelength.

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif







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