| || |
I am ..34 and divorced once already. I have an 8 year old daughter from the first marriage. I am an undercover detective currently up for a possible promotion. My wife (Karin) is 32 and has also been divorced once. She has an alcoholic mother and a deceased father that sexually abused her. There is also and unknown issue with her brother that I just recently found out about.
Once upon a time...I met Karin at work prior to my first divorce. She was not going out with anyone and I was interested in her. So I began to talk with her and doing some flirting.
She knew about impending divorce and helped me get through it. She also knew about my daughter Allyson and soon accepted her and loved her like her own. Karin and I soon moved in together and started a relationship. After about 4 years together we were married.
All was pretty good. We had some rough times when I had a woman I had met while working. She began to stalk me somewhat. I did my best to get rid of her. But Karin thought that I was secretly meeting with her or trying to have a relationship. I did not.
This incident is still brought up today like it just happened. But anyway.....We tried to have a child of our own. But for one reason or another we have not. Karin has miscarried twice. The first time it was very bad for her. Of course I did not handle it the right way. I attempted to rationalize it with her. I said it was "God's will" and used medical reasoning. Nothing was right. I even said some horrible things to her. I now know how wrong I was.
From that time on things never got back to normal. Karin went through some depression. I think that she is still going through it. We have still fought about those things. We have been to counseling but for some reason we have stopped. It is not because of me.
Karin has moved out again. This is the third time this year. In the past I have told her to leave. But realizing that it was wrong I have not said it again. Recently she said she did not love me anymore. I think that she still does in some way. But she has recreated all the hurt from over the years and brought it back.
I have apologized over and over. I have done all that I am able to show her that I still love her. She seems to hate me. I just want her to believe me and let me show her that things are different. I am miserable without her. I am lost without her. I have even thought about ending my life. The only thing that is stopping me is my daughter and the shame of doing it. I am so upset about this I cannot let go. I would give anything to be with her and to show her that I am not the person that I was.
What can I do to help her with her pain?
Love and Learn: relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
Site Design by: