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Dear Panel,

My boyfriend has given me a choice to make; tell my mother that she is not allowed to come into our home, or be alone with her (future) grandchildren, or leave the relationship. What do I do about the ultimatum?

-- Daisy

Female, age 32, North America

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

My boyfriend has given me a choice to make; tell my mother that she is not allowed to come into our home, or be alone with her (future) grandchildren, or leave the relationship. What do I do about the ultimatum?

We Moved In With My Mother

Four months ago I moved home with my mother because she was having trouble financially with her home. Around the same time, my boyfriend lost his job so my mother invited him to stay with us.

The problem arises from her not feeling morally comfortable with the situation. She never said anything to him about it until one night when there was an argument and she told him she never wanted him in her home in the first place.

He's Hurt and Confused

Since she made him feel very "at home" while he was here, this confused him and hurt him. He feels she hurt him when he was at his lowest point and needed me the most.

I know that he is very hurt and angry, but I can't believe that he has said , "you have a choice to make, I have no problem with you going to see your mother with our children, and spending a holiday or 2 with her, but she is never to come to our home or be alone with our children."

They Refuse To Speak

They refuse to speak with one another and I feel like I am the only adult in this situation. How could they have chosen to put me in the middle?

-- Daisy

Female, age 32, North America

Aaron, Annabelle, Stephanie, and Spanky answer this question.

 

 

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