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It hurts to care so much, what is he thinking?

A Guest Answers:

I wish I could tell you what this guy is thinking but I don't even think he knows himself. There is no amount of commitment in this world that can change him and nothing you could have done or said would have changed anything.

What you need to do now is step back from the relationship and look at it from a different angle.

Makes You Wonder What He Tells His Friends About You

Let's start with the roommates hitting on you. Now, you mentioned that before anything serious happened between you two he was telling the football team that he was in love with you. Translation: he talks to the football team with that oh so great "locker room talk." All of a sudden out of nowhere his roommates and other guys are hitting on you?

Not to knock you down but it sounds like this guy is flapping his lips to his buddies and it's probably not about what a great personality you have or how you have this really cool collection of shoes. Forget his friends that are hitting on you. One or two would have been fine but a whole bunch in a short amount of time is a little strange don't you think?

Now about his girlfriend. Look at the situation through her eyes. Wouldn't you want to dump him too? Here's your boyfriend at another school and he's hitting up other women talking marriage with them? That guy would be out of my life faster than you can say Sally sells seashells.

You are the OTHER WOMAN

What you need to realize is that in all this mess you are the OTHER WOMAN. You are the one he is cheating with. If he was married you would be the mistress! Do you really want to be that forever?!?!?

Now my question is: why do you want to be with someone who cheats on his girlfriend? And if he cheated on her what makes you so sure he isn't cheating on you?

What it sounds like to me is that this guy is passing off anything bad about him onto you. Look at what he says to you — he tells you how pretty you are, how smart you are, and then he says he can't see you anymore because YOU'RE addictive? Sounds like he's passing the blame. He also sounds like he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear-and it worked.

He Says What You Want to Hear

Of course he's going to keep saying he's going to dump his girlfriend. You wouldn't be with him if he didn't say that! How many mistresses wait in the wings because they know that guy is going to "divorce his wife and be with me forever." Well I believe they are still waiting.

As for him saying he doesn't want to be in relationships? Sounds like people are finding out his little games and reaming him out. He's suppressing his feelings for you? For what reason? Are they that bad that he doesn't want to even look at you? Or maybe you remind him of the girl he was cheating on. Whatever the reason why are you letting him control your feelings?

He's a Manipulator

He's just a manipulator and you can do much better than that. You hit the nail on the head when you said that he's only staying around because he knows you'll be there.

Pull the Rug Out

I agree. She needs to just get this guy out of her life.

Pull the rug out from under him and move on. He sounds like he needs intensive therapy. Look at your life from a different point of view.


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