Dear Last Hope,
Your love for Alenka sounds real, but you sound like you have a certain style about you that makes her not feel safe.
Often when people say that they love you it comes from a very emotional, sensitive and vulnerable place. If people have been hurt before, as both of you have, it makes it harder to go to that sensitive place and open up those feelings.
Too Fast Too Early
It sounds like you guys went very fast early on and you both got scared. You got scared and said you really didn't love her. She got scared and pulled away. The feelings are still there, but so is the fear.
Being Freinds Helps To Re-establish Trust
You will both need to reassure each other that it's okay to give up the fear and move back to the sensitive place. How do you do this? By being real friends to each other. The phone calls sound like the right way to do it, but you can't pressure her to get physical with you again. You have to reassure her that you are still here for her and still interested in her. But don't push it.
Prove Yourself Trustworthy
It sounds like she wants you back, but she wants you to prove that you are being honest with her this time. The only way to prove that is to show her that you can be someone worth trusting.
Also, learning how to dance might be a great way to share something she loves and a way to get over your "pride."
Face your fears!