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Do I dump him for liking very young girls?

Answers:

Dear "fell in love with a perv":

ACT I think Miss Kitty is brilliant and
sensitive to the complexities in this issue.

My guess is that I am probably going to address your dilemma much differently than the other panelists.

Do Everything To Protect Your Daughters

My first response after reading your question is that you must do everything to protect your daughters, now and in the future.

Today's Little Girls Are Seen As Sex Objects

Patra There is a difference between a 17 year old Britney Spears type and a 10 year old child.

A serious flaw has turned up in your "soul-mate". However, in a time in history when we parade Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on TV dressed like teasing and sexy 12 year olds, and other preteens are walking around worshipping her and other stars like her, it's no wonder we're all a little bit confused when it comes to what is "okay" and not okay.

Men Have Always Lusted After Young Girls

Reader Been There I agree – I think that any man that is lusting after a young girl has a problem.

From the beginning of time, men have been looking at young girls and lusting after them. Not all men, but more men than not. Does this make it okay? No. Does it make this a more common problem than most people would assume would be out there? Probably.

Take Him Up On His Offer To "Change"

Reader "Fell in Love with a Perv" I agree - but..

NEWSFLASH: Everyone has flaws. Some are more significant than others. To figure out how deeply this issue goes with your husband, it is imperative that you take him up on his offer to "try to change" and go to a therapist with him to discuss this very important issue as soon as possible.

Determine If His Fetish Is Casual Or Serious

Hope He doesn't need a therapist; he needs God.

Let a counselor or therapist help you determine how deep this problem truly is. If your husband is one of thousands who is turned on by young girls, welcome to the year 2000.

Hope No, he needs a therapist.

If his desire is of a serious nature, and one where he is clearly crossing the line between right and wrong, you need to hear about it and base your decision on that bit of imperative information.

Soulmates Can Have Dark Sides

Eventually, many folks wake up and find out their soul-mate also has a dark side and/or a serious weakness. We are all flawed beings. With that said, it is vital that you find out just how deep your husband's desire goes. Perhaps he doesn't even know. Get a dialogue going and get these things out in the open. Find a qualified professional to work with you on this. This is very important.

Your Children Come First

Hope Talking isn't enough to protect her daughters. She should ask him to move out temporarily.

Never lose sight of the fact that your first concern should be with your children. At the same time, exercise some compassion for human weakness and desire. If your husband has never acted on his desire and likes to "look" but would never act on this desire, this is an important consideration. Has he considered acting on it? Talk to him about this. It is a SERIOUS consideration, one that you should not and cannot ignore.

Don't Face This Alone

Please do not try to come to a decision about this alone. Find a good therapist soon, if you have not done so already, and discuss this very important dilemma at length.

Please let us know how things work out.

Miss Kitty

 

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