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Dear Feeling Like Meat,

Not All Men Are Like That

No, ALL men are like that.

Unfortunately, based on your experiences, it probably seems as if guys are after one thing and one thing only: sex. The good news is that not all men are like this. The bad news: the ones that aren't seem to be fewer and farther between.

Sex As a Game

I agree. As I said before: men don't respect easy women.

We live at a time when sex seems, in some instances, to have lost its "specialness" and become more of a game. For many men it is the challenge of getting you into bed not the actual act of intimacy that drives them and encourages them to act in the manner that you have come into contact with.

Wrong Attention, Wrong Attraction

I 've always said: The w rong type of guys are not interested in your welfare.

Sometimes it is the way that you act or dress that encourages behavior like this and other times it is completely innocent flirting on your part that may draw the wrong attention towards you. Maybe you are attracted to the wrong things in the men that you choose and as a result, by choosing guys who have this quality in common, you end up in the same position each time.

Start As Friends

My best advice is that you try and form a friendship first with any guy that you are interested in. By being his friend first before showing you are interested in anything else, you automatically eliminate sex from your initial contact and you have the opportunity to feel him out- decide whether or not he is a "typical" sex-driven type or maybe he will share similar interests as well as the qualities that you would prefer your man to have.

Don't Act Desperate

You can't choose Mr. Right. He is more likely to show up unexpectedly and when you aren't looking for him. I would venture to say that looking so hard suggests a bit of desperation and that usually can be sensed and translated into "looking for sex."

That's right, because we usually feel things physically first.

Often a man looking for a woman is also looking for the physical intimacy. It is just a sign of the times -- will it change as you get older? Hopefully. We like to think that with age comes maturity but that can't always be guaranteed.

Dress "Unslutty"

Hang in there. Continue to dress "unslutty" and don't look so hard. Work on building friendships in which you can be honest with the guys first and then afterwards, allowing those to blossom into relationships. Remember that you don't HAVE to have sex and you should always stick to your guns (so to speak). Don't do anything you don't want to do and if you feel like a guy is pressuring you, that should be an automatic indication that there is something lacking and that he is not for you.

Wait For Mr. Right

Hey! Good guys look for sex, too. The vast majority of guys want sex.

Keep the faith. The good guys are out there and they are not looking for sex. They may just be more refined, less in your face, and in the long run -- more you type. You will find Mr. Right -- just be patient and don't lower your standards -- don't lose faith yet...

Keep Trying -- But Not Too Hard

I found a good guy who is waiting for marriage -- there are some who aren't waiting but still don't treat sex as a challenge to meet a goal -- those are the guys you want to keep your eyes open for. Just keep trying (but not too hard!) and I promise you will find a nice guy.

- Foxy

 

 

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