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Can I stop young girlfriend from experiencing life?


Dear Harry:

You're Not Reading the Signs

Are you being selfish? No.

Valetta She SHOULDN'T be mature enough now. She's very young.

I do not believe that you are, you love your girlfriend and want to be with her. However, you are also not reading the rather blatant signs that she's giving you that SHE is not
mature enough to handle a relationship right now.

Let Her Go

As much as you love your girlfriend, I'm going to advise strongly that you decide if you are capable of letting her go right now. NOT under her terms...a few flings later, your trust in her would be so diminished, you wouldn't have much of a relationship to speak of by then.

However, she is telling you that she wants and needs to spread her wings. If you two are meant to be together, then somewhere down the road when the timing is right, you will be. In the meantime, the more you try to hold on to her, the more she is going to want to fly...and you are going to get seriously hurt, my friend.

She Can't Relate with Others' Experiences

She is 15 years old. She has a LOT of life to experience – and perhaps for her (for god knows what reason) that means getting hurt. More likely, it means that she has a few friends who are experiencing things that SHE never has and can't relate to – therefore she feels like she's missing something.

Jeannie She's Very Young

Reader Mrs. Piner I agree she's young, but she's also stupid.

In either case, she is young and very possibly not capable of handling a committed relationship right now. She wants to explore her world...find out more about herself, see what's out there. She cannot do that in the safety net you provide her...and you would not be doing either one of you a favor by trying to stop her from exploring her own world.

Protect Yourself

Although your girlfriend needs the freedom to live her own life, you also need to find a way of protecting yourself in the meantime.

She wants her cake and to eat it, too, however – but you need to have enough belief in yourself not to accept that. If you do decide to let her go, let her know that it isn't a trial basis – that you won't be there for her to fall back on when she gets lonely. Protect yourself, and don't fall into the trap of waiting for her while you hurt. Let her go...and don't look back. She may come back to her in her own time.

Good luck.

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