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Do I choose my boring girlfriend or the babe?


Dear Steve,

You Are a "Scum Bag"


I agree with everything you said! Let me just add something...

I won't candy coat it for you – you have been, to use your own terminology, a complete "scum bag".

I Had a Boyfriend Like You

However, everyone accepts responsibility for their own choices. I have quite a biased opinion, having been in the position of your girlfriend...and knowing what it feels like to be cheated on. It's not fun, it erodes your trust in men and makes it very difficult to believe that there are truly nice guys out there.

What Help Are You Asking For?

I am, however, not entirely certain about what type of help or "advice" you are looking for here. You explain yourself quite thoroughly, but I'm also assuming that you know in your heart what you are doing is wrong. Are you looking for justification? Sympathy? Consolation? I really don't know, but I'm certainly not the one to give you any of the three.

The "Perfect Woman"

You commented:

"If I could take the best bits from each girl I would have the perfect woman but I know that I have to make a choice because I cannot carry on like this."

The perfect woman?? Why would you believe such a thing exists? Perhaps that is your problem to begin with.

Are YOU So Perfect?

In addition to that, ask yourself another question: if the perfect woman came along right now, who was a perfect blend of the things you love most in both of the women in your life, do you honestly believe that she would take a look at you and what you are doing and be interested in that? Are YOU the perfect man right now?

You Haven't Learned Any Lesson

I can't think of a single healthy female who would willingly be with a man who cheats. You SAY you have learned your lesson, but I don't believe you have...or if you did, it was the wrong lesson to learn. Because you are STILL cheating. You haven't stopped.

Both Women Deserve Better

You're just taking the side of women obviously. The girlfriend'' faults?. The girlfriend sounds like a bump on the log to me.

The women in your life deserve better than what you are giving them. Everyone has faults – including you, my friend – but the point of loving someone is to love them INCLUDING their faults, not in spite of them. Your girlfriend deserves better than someone who will "accept her faults" and love her anyway. Your "German babe" deserves a man who will really be hers. Both women deserve someone's full heart, not the half-hearted attempt you are offering.

Walk Away from Both

Why leave both? He should go for the babe and at least give it a chance.

You have two women in your life, neither of whom are providing you with whatever it is you are looking you are looking for a combined effort to meet your needs. Perhaps you would be better suited to walk away from BOTH of them for a while...figure out exactly what your needs are FIRST and then find ONE woman who is a perfect blend for you.

Make Yourself a Worthy Man

But in the meantime, you had better make sure you are a man worth the effort. Until you are ready to own up to your own mistakes and take responsibility for the choices that you are making right now, you aren't.

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