Ask a Question Meet Jeannie

Meet the Panel
All Questions

Why does my girlfriend think I am using her?


Dear Jon from Canada:

Why does your girlfriend think you are using her? Well, ARE you? Have you really asked yourself this question?

You're Not Willing To Put in the Effort

Without giving us much more input, I can only speculate on why a teenage girl would accuse her boyfriend of using her. I am a female, so from my perspective, I see you as someone willing to put a little effort into getting an answer to his question, but not a lot of effort into understanding what they answer might really be.

How important is it to you? You added nothing in the way that would explain WHY she feels that way or even what she has told you.

What Exactly Are You Looking for Here?

The perception that I get from your question is that you want a quick and easy answer, or you wouldn't have provided a quick and easy question. ( I know, a lot to find in only nine words). However, without any knowledge of you or your girlfriend, it's kind of tough to come up with a logical or reasonable answer.

SHE Holds the Answer

Linda It doesn't matter what he is using her for. She feels used because she isn't getting what SHE wants.

There are many things that your girlfriend could feel you are using her, money, attention, status...but without any more information than that, it's tough to pinpoint exactly why she feels this way.

Duval I agree. He needs to ask her.

However, if you are truly looking for an answer, I think the one person that you really need to ask is HER.

Try Putting a Little Effort into Finding Out Why

Sit down with her, ask her to explain to you how she feels – and just LISTEN. Don't argue, don't try to talk her out of it, don't try to tell her why she's wrong...she obviously feels something and probably simply wants you to acknowledge that you recognize it. You have to realize that you aren't going to get a quick and easy answer out of this, NOR are you going to get a quick and easy OUT.

I can't tell you why she feels that way...but she certainly can. You only have to ask her and really listen to hear what she's telling you.

Good luck,

Click here to see the full question & other panelists' responses.


What do you think of Answer?

What part of this answer are you reacting to?

What do you think?

Signature to use with your reaction:

Your gender:


Your age:

Your location:

optional: email address (WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED)





Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design