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Should I contact her after 25 years?

Dear Panel,

I am a 44 year old Black divorced male. Divorced for 7 years.

Pamela is Caucasian and 44 years old. I haven't seen her in 25 years.

Pamela and I met and dated as seniors in high school. We were madly in love with each other,even imagined we would marry one day. However, there was a very serious problem, her parents are racists. In fact, they hated me with a passion. They strctly forbade her from seeing me. We snuck around to see each other for 2 years.

Finally, the pressure and stress made her give up on our relationship and she ended it.

After thinking about her every day for 25 years I took the steps to try to locate her, and I know where she is. I know it would be terribly inappropriate to contact her if she were married to someone, but would it be OK to contact her if she is available considering her parents are still alive?

I don't expect fireworks if we met. I would love to see her again.

Should I attempt to contact Pamela?

– Steve

Male, age 44, USA

Miss Kitty
Brad and Heather


For a question from a woman in the same situation as Steve was in 25 years ago, see:
"Am I good enough for their son?"

For a question from a man in the same situation as Steve was in 25 years ago, see:
"How do I avoid losing her?"

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