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Am I picky or commitment phobic?

Dear Panel,

.... This is probably my 7th exclusive relationship. My problem is that I do want to get married, but to the right person. I either lose interest in them, or feel there must be someone out there more suited to me. ...

– Waiting Game

Male, age 28, California, USA

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years; however, I don't know if I should commit.

This is probably my 7th exclusive relationship. My problem is that I do want to get married, but to the right person. I either lose interest in them, or feel there must be someone out there more suited to me.

My mostly married friends all say that when the right person comes along you will "just know it". I used to believe it, but after all this time and girlfriends, I think I have a problem.

All these girls have been wonderful and quite different, but I always seem to lose that feeling – and with the last few, the feeling was hardly there to begin with. I just want to feel that feeling all these people describe. If it didn't happen so often I wouldn't be concerned.

People are saying my expectations are too high or I'm looking for something too perfect. I say I just want that special person. I just end up stringing them along, unsure.

Should I just deal with it, that I am a bachelor for life?

Let my girlfriend go for the good of the both of us?

I hate being that guy that their girlfriends warn them about: The "no commitment guy" who breaks hearts not for fun, but because he cannot love enough himself.

I want a family and children eventually, so should I just take a chance?

Is it mentally possible to be incapable to commit or to love anyone longer than a short time? I'm starting to think so.

– Waiting Game

Male, age 28, California, USA

Charlie, Jassy, Mare, Shaggy, and Saibhin answer this question.

 

 

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