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Is he backing off because he isn't getting any?

Dear Panel,

.... So the next time we went out he tried again. This time when I asked him to stop he said he couldn't. I asked again and he stopped, but then he told me just to leave....

– Anonymous

Female, age 23, USA

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,
reader I agree. Keep holding on and Holding out.
God is on your side and bless you for your obedience to His Will. You're Doing Good!!!

I am a 23 year old woman and still a virgin who for all of my life has believed that sex should be inside of marriage only.

He Was Always Super Nice to Me

He is 22 and from a country in Latin America. I met this guy about 7 months ago. We happen to work together. We always got along really well and he was always super nice to me. There seemed to be a chemistry there but I never thought of it as anything. Since he was from another country I would always ask him about his family and his country so that was how we first got to know each other.

About 3 weeks ago he asked me to go dancing with him. I was really excited because I hadn't really got out with anyone in a while and it sounded like fun. We went dancing and then ended up at the beach talking for almost 3 hours.

I Had To Stop Him

He started to really go for it and so I stopped him. I explained to him how I felt about waiting for marriage and also that I don't date just for fun but that I am looking for the right person to marry.

He seemed to take that well and I thought he understood, but the next time we went out he tried stuff again. He stopped when I asked him to, and we talked about it again. He didn't quite understand why I believed what I did but said he could handle it.

So the next time we went out he tried again. This time when I asked him to stop he said he couldn't. I asked again and he stopped, but then he told me just to leave.

I'm Helping Him Study for an Entrance Exam

It was about 2 weeks and we got together last night. We spent most of the 4 hours just talking and I am helping him study for an entrance exam, but now I don't know if he even likes me or not. The problem is I have feelings for him and would like to see him, but without having sex. Before, he said that he doesn't think he could handle that. It's really hard to hang out and not tell him how I feel.

I am not exactly sure what to do or what he thinks now. Did he just back off because he knew I was uncomfortable, or did he decide that because he couldn't get any he would just use me to get help for his test and forget the relationship altogether?

I have always had an issue with getting attached and trying to hold on when there is nothing left and I don't want to do that again.

Should I hold on and help him hoping maybe something will work out, or lay off the friendship?

– Anonymous

Female, age 23, USA

Foxy, Hope, Jimmy, Mensch, and Saibhin answer this question.

 

 

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