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Should I approach her if I am not sure it will work?

Dear Panel,

...One of the things that also bothers me is that if I manage to get to talk to her and even become her friend, will I be able to control the relationship?...School work and computer lab work already take over 80% of my life. Can I use only the remaining 20% of the time to make both myself and her happy?...

-- Tony

Male, age 21, US San Marcos

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

Hi my name is Tony. Where should I begin...?

I Am a Perfectionist

I think I am better than most guys out there, I am sincere, I have a pure heart, I work/ study hard and trying to walk toward the right road and be successful. I am very good looking, I don't do drugs, don't smoke. I suppose I am a perfectionist. But as the old saying goes, no one is perfect, neither am I. I have couple areas of myself I dislike and there isn't too much I can do about them. For example, I am near sighted.

I've Never Had a Girlfriend

Anyway, I am fairly happy about where I am as a human being, but something bothers me a great deal. I do not have a girlfriend, nor have I ever. I am a very shy guy and believe in true love romance and prince and princess kind of life and stories. That hasn't happened to me yet, but I believe one day it will.

I don't usually like to talk to girls, because I believe a guy shouldn't speak to a girl unless he's sincerely interested in her; unless the guy is 100% absolutely sure there will not be any sort of emotion going on during the conversation. Anyway, that's a bit introduction about myself.

I'm Too Nervous To Talk To Her

And here's where the problem begins. I saw this girl that's living in my dorm and she's the absolutely most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I am not kidding, she's prettier than Jennifer Love Hewitt or Britney Spears. As time passes by, I like her more and more. But until this day, I don't think I have said more than 20 words to her. I have strong reason to believe that she likes me a lot also. She tried to get close to me and just walked by me many times before, but I was too nervous to say anything to her. If I am not wrong about how she feels, we are both suffering greatly from not being able to talk and be with each other.

I have told myself many times before,"Tony, just go talk to her or even try to say hi every time you see her around." But I seem to be speechless everytime she's around.

Will I Make Her Happy?

Jassy
You're a control freak!

One of the things that also bothers me is that if I manage to get to talk to her and even become her friend, will I be able to control the relationship? Will I make her happy?

School work and computer lab work already take over 80% of my life. Can I use only the remaining 20% of the time to make both myself and her happy? I want her to be happy with all of my heart.

Should I stay away from her or try to be with her?

Seems like I will make her sad either way. I just can't see through this thing. I am confused, lonely and sad.

Please help if you can. Thank you for reading.

-- Tony

Male, age 21, US San Marcos

Mel, Jassy, Saibhin, and Shaggy answer this question.

 

 

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