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Why can't I accept guys liking me?

Dear Panel,

... I don't like it when guys I DON'T like, like me. But I don't like it either when guys I DO like, like me! Ang labo! At this rate, I'll be single for the rest of my life...

– Carmela

Female, age 17, Asia

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

Hey, umm... I'd really appreciate any advice you can give me.

Never Had a Boyfriend

I'd like to start this off by saying that I've never had a boyfriend. (I'm 17.) I've never had a fling or whatever. I have a lot of guy friends, but I've never had a real relationship with a guy, beyond the platonic level.

Making Them Think They Have a Chance

I'm not hideous. Some guys have liked me, but as soon as I'd sense it, I'd lose all contact with the guy. I just didn't know how to act around the guy without making him think that he had a chance (which he didn't). I used to think, "Oh, I'm just acting like this towards so-and-so because I'm not attracted to him."

But then, when some of my crushes started liking me back, I didn't like it at all, and gave them the same treatment. I don't like it when guys I don't like, like me. But I don't like it either when guys I do like, like me! Ang labo! At this rate I'll be single for the rest of my life.

Maybe I only had "mild attraction" for my crushes, so when it looked like something really might happen, I realized that he wasn't boyfriend material.

So my question is, exactly what is wrong with me? And how in the world can I solve this prob?

– Carmela

Female, age 17, Asia

Buddy, Judith, Charlie, Jayne, and Noey answer this question.

 

 

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