I've met someone who has most of the wonderful qualities that I seek in a man. He's fun, confident, happy and loves life. We have non-stop talks that never get dull. I feel positive and upbeat in his company.
Why have I all of a sudden started focusing on shallow, materialistic 'nit-picks?'
He is a fashion mishap.
He seems to be cheap; I always have to pay for most date activities. He's a lousy tipper.
I find his 'gropey' affection in public to be inapropriate.
Whew! I sound horrible, I know. But lately, I am so turned off by these things. I'm just being honest.
I've always wanted a man who was cultured not pinkies-up but arts-minded. He is so not there! To his credit, he is the most wonderful person on the inside, and I'm trying to focus on that.
Mare, I can relate to your phase of feeling like guys weren't cool enough for you. How do I get over this?
-- N (pathetically still concerned with coolness)
Female, age 30, Vancouver, BC, Canada Charlie, Jeannie, Judith, and Lefty answer this question.