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Should I be scared by my boyfriend's ex?

Dear Panel,

...she telephoned him, saying that she wanted to be again with him and that she regrets her decision to leave him. She called him 3 times...

He hasn't seen her since December 2000 and my terror is: What effect she will provoke on him if one day they meet?

-- Virginia

Female, age 24, Rome

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I'm an Italian girl. (Sorry for my terrible English...I hope you answer me!!!) I'm 24 years old and I've a BIG problem:

I have a sort of obsession: What could happen if my boyfriend will meet his ex??!!

We date since February and we love each other, but he has had a long story of 5 years with a girl.

She interrupted their relation last November (only a year ago) for another guy. He was in despair for some time, he even has lost 10 Kilos because of this fact!!!!

I met him 3 months after his story ended.

He Had Asked Her To Live with Him

In that period, he always spoke of his ex and he told me that he even had asked her to live together. Now he says that he realizes he wasn't really in love with her, but that it was only an infatuation.

She Wants To Be with Him Again

The problem is that last April she telephoned him, saying that she wanted to be again with him and that she regrets her decision to leave him.

She called him 3 times, but he never accepted to meet her again because I didn't want him to do that!! He wanted to see her only to console her (he said), but in the end he decided not to meet her!

So he hasn't seen her since December 2000 and my terror is: What effect she will provoke on him if one day they meet? They live in the same road so it is possible that they will meet one day!!!

Many friends of mine have told me that meeting an ex always provokes a great effect and can create confusion!!!

One thing I have to say: with his ex, he never had a real sexual intercourse. On the contrary, we made love and it was the first time for each other, so it has been something special for both of us!!

Please help me to overcome this fear that torments me every day!!

Kisses,

-- Virginia

Female, age 24, Rome

 

Aaron, Colleen, Kalia, and Saibhin answer this question.

 

 

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