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Should I admit that I have been commitment phobic?

Dear Panel,

...If I tell them the truth that I have had commitment issues in the past, I feel like they won't want to go out with me...

-- C-Phobe

Male, age 27, PA

[read the entire question below]


Dear Panel,

I guess you could say I'm a commitment-phobe.

I date a lot and have met some really great girls the last few years. The problem is that after dating them for a little bit (usually about 2-3 months) I start to get antsy. I always seem to think that I'm missing out on something better and find myself flirting with other girls at the bar.

It's wierd because I feel like I want to find that special girl and settle down, but something always keeps me from letting things get too serious.

While this is a problem in itself, my real question is how to approach things when I first start dating someone. It seems like a lot of girls ask me early on in the relationship if I'm looking for something serious, if I have relationship issues, and if I'm a "player." If I tell them the truth that I have had commitment issues in the past, I feel like they won't want to go out with me.

At the same time I feel bad because I know I have hurt a lot of girls' feelings.

What do you think? How should I approach this?

-- C-Phobe

Male, age 27, PA

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