HomeMainMeet the PanelAll QuestionsYour HostAsk the Panel

Can a relationship with a convict work?

Dear Panel,

He knows he can offer me nothing while he is in prison, and encourages me to live my life. But when he gets out, he wants to make me his wife. He has never asked me for anything but my thoughts, a picture of myself, and well, my hand in marriage.

-- Love Through A Barb Wire Fence

Female, age 26, USA

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I am a divorced mother of 3 little boys ages 8, 5, and 2. I am a legal secretary by day and an aspiring writer by night. My second book is going to be about prison life.

He Had A Horrible Childhood

I am 26-years-old. I am very active in my church. Joey is 28-years-old. He's attractive, but had an extremely hard childhood. He was physically abused by his mother (had concussions and everything) He was sexually abused by his father. And at his baby-sitters house, he even witnessed a murder. The body lay beside him all day while he watched cartoons with the murderer. He was about 7 or 8 then.

He is charming and romantic, but he has trust issues. He's loyal. He has criminal background.

I Correspond With Inmates For My Job

I began corresponding with inmates as research for my book I am writing. A total of about 25. I do interviews in prisons, and do a lot of background checks to verify what these men are telling me.

He's A Habitual Offender

This is where I met Joey. He is in for habitual offender, breaking and entering, burglary, credit card fraud, and escape. I have fallen in love with him, and him with me. I asked him if he was sorry for his crimes, and he stated that it took a long time for him to be sorry for his victims, and not just for being caught.

He Proposed

He is changed, and I believe him. He has about 12 years left to his sentence. We exchange letters 3 times a week, and I am going to see him end of March. He knows he can offer me nothing while he is in prison, and encourages me to live my life. But when he gets out, he wants to make me his wife. He has never asked me for anything but my thoughts, a picture of myself, and well, my hand in marriage.

Can this type of relationship work? How can I ensure that it will?

-- Love Through A Barb Wire Fence

Female, age 26, USA

Jeannie, Jennae, Jimmy, and Shaggy answer this question.

 

 

Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.

 

Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design