Ask a Question
Meet Jody

Meet the Panel
All Questions
How can I keep him without sex?


Dear Peaches,

It sounds as if your boyfriend is fine with your decision to not have sex too soon. He may even be relieved that you are not pressuring him.

He May Be Glad

Despite the horndog image, many young men do believe that sexual intercourse should be something special and not just "getting it on."

The real issue here is: what do you want for yourself? You say that you want to wait a few years but you give no reason.

Really Reflect On Your Reasons

While I do agree with your decision to wait, I would suggest that you think about why you want to wait. Doing so will make you more able to stand by your convictions when faced with temptations such as "keeping up with the Joneses" like in this case.

Why People Wait

Here are a few of the common reason that people choose to hold off on having sex. All or some may apply to you and you may have different reasons as well.

  1. Sex is a sacred act created by God to be shared with your spouse. Having sex now would be a sin.

  2. Sexually transmitted diseases are common and condoms provide little to no protection against most of them. (They do provide some protection against AIDS however so I will still suggest their use.)

  3. You could become pregnant with an unwanted child that you are not prepared to care for. This can happen even if you are using birth control. All birth control options have a failure rate.

  4. Sex is a highly intimate act and it causes a bond between two people. You may not want to make that kind of bond with anybody until you are certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

  5. You respect yourself enough to not be used as a form of sexual entertainment.

  6. You respect your boyfriend enough to not use him the same way.

  7. Your parents told you that having sex before marriage is wrong and you don't want to deal with the guilt.

  8. You may have a bad experience and ruin your future sex life.

  9. You think that the very idea of sex is icky.

I would suggest that you consider why you don't want to have sex and make a commitment to not.

Jody Talk To Him


But if he doesn't agree, she should be true to herself.

Then talk with your boyfriend about it. If not having sex is important to you then the two of you need to be on the same page and in agreement.

You also need to put some safeguards into place to keep it from "just happening."


I agree. If he gets upset, he's not worth her time.

By the way, if you talk to him and he says that having sex now is very important to him and he can't imagine dating you without it, dump his ass!

Hope it helps,



What do you think of Answer?

What part of this answer are you reacting to?

What do you think?

Signature to use with your reaction:

Your gender:


Your age:

Your location:

optional: email address (WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED)





Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design