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Why do guys use porn?

Dear Panel,

I have read through the questions on here to do with porn already, and I am confused.

Half of me just wants to accept that he'll use it if I am not around (he said he uses it if he's horny and I am not there) and just try to accept he apparently only sees them as images of breasts etc...

-- Frustrated

Female, age 18, UK

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, and though it has taken me a long time to trust him I actually do.

But recently we got into a conversation about masturbation and I asked him if he masturbated to pornography (I have asked him this about 5 times in the past and he said he didn't).

He Admitted To Using Porn

He replied this time that he had 'once or twice' since we'd been together. I was hurt because he lied to me and when I asked him about it he said it wasn't any of my business whether he did or not.

He said he told me this time because he thought if he let me know that he did, I would trust him and I am thankful this time he told me the truth. The only problem is it still bothers me he uses it.

We Don't Have Sex As Much As We Used To

I don't think I would be half as bothered if he had sex with me as much as he used to. We spoke about it and he said the only reason he uses it occasionally is because they are visual images to help him get off - I don't understand why he can't think of us. He told me he doesn't fantasize over these girls and wouldn't want me to look like them, yet why does he still want to look at them?

I'm Confused

I have read through the questions on here to do with porn already, and I am confused. Half of me just wants to accept he'll use it if I am not around (he said he uses it if he's horny and I am not there) and just try to accept he apparently only sees them as images of breasts etc.

But the other half still feels offended he needs to look at these images instead of just waiting to have sex with me. I masturbate myself but I never even feel attracted to use porn. I would enjoy using it together as a couple though as I believe the it would be the situation turning us both on, and not the mags, which is another reason I am confused. I accept the girls in these mags are desirable, being bisexual I find them attractive. I would only want to use them with him though, never behind his back.

Should I just let him get on with it when I am not around to please him and accept he wants me in reality, or should I question him again? I know he loves me to pieces, but I still feel I am not satisfying him and he is not telling me. Help!

-- Frustrated

Female, age 18, UK

Jimmy, Sarge, Bob, Shaggy, and Indigo answer this question.

 

 

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