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Do I change my spirituality to keep him?


Dear Stephanie,

The short answer is "no", you should not change your religion to keep your boyfriend. Think about it. God is a whole lot bigger than your boyfriend. Do you think he will really fall for anything short of a total commitment? Would your boyfriend believe you anyway?

You May Be Due For A Spiritual Journey

That said, there may be a value in you taking an interest in your boyfriend's spiritual journey. You say that you believe in God and that you have a need for him in your life. I'm no pastor but it sounds to me like you may be due for a spiritual journey of your own.

You Have The Same Values

Since you spent a year together, I assume that you and your boyfriend have some things in common, therefore it is reasonable that something that makes sense and has value to him may for you as well.

Go To Church With Him

Go to church with him. Ask him to tell you about the commitment he has made to God. Ask him what led him to make that commitment. Ask him how he knows that what he believes is true? Ask him all of your questions.

Chances are he has answered most of them for himself. If
he hasn't then he isn't really much of a Christian.

You May Accept Christianity for Yourself

Don't think of this as a way to "win him back." This is for you. This is a chance for you to discover something about the world and maybe yourself. At some point you will know for sure whether or not you want to be a Christian.

If You Reject Christianity, Walk Away From Him

If you explore and learn and decide that Christianity is not for you, don't commit. Walk away knowing that you put your best effort into learning about your boyfriend's faith and that you two are simply not meant to be together.

There is, of course, a possibility that through all of this exploration you will discovery that you also believe as he does and want to become a Christian.

You Shouldn't Be A Couple If You Don't Convert


I disagree. In a relationship, religion shouldn't come into play.

That still will not guarantee that you will get your boyfriend
back. However, as long as your boyfriend is a "strict" Christian and you are not, the two of you should not be together as a couple.

The heartbreak involved in the potential marriage is just not worth it. Good luck and happy exploring.



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