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We're both married, what should I do?

Dear Panel,

I have been seeing a married woman on and off for the past eight months. I am also married, but we are both unhappy with our spouses.

We both love each other, but she is constantly backing off and then coming back to me because she doesn't know where this will go. We have both considered leaving our marriages, but I am unsure of her true feelings. I do not know why she does this and would like for her to feel more comfortable with our love.

She however, has difficulty expressing her feelings and therefore I am left wondering what to do next.

What should I do?


Male, age 31, USA

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