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Dear Panel,

The past few years I have been depressed and basically treated him like dirt, and myself as well.

Not long after we split up he slept with someone else. I was devastated and couldn't handle it, even though I understood why.

If we once loved each other very much is there any chance after separation and therapy etc. that we can learn to live with each other again?

-- Susie

Female, age 29, UK

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I've been with my partner for 7 years and have a 4-year-old son.

I've Been Depressed

The past few years I have been depressed and basically treated him like dirt, and myself as well. Never going out and shutting myself away from everyone and everything.

We Split Up, He Was With Someone Else

About a month ago after he came back from holiday I told him it was finished as I was sure he'd be seeing other woman whilst he was away. Not long after we split up he slept with someone else. I was devastated and couldn't handle it, even though I understood why. I had made him feel really bad about himself and also not had a proper sex life for a very long time.

He Agreed To Come Back

I've been breaking down a lot lately and told him I still loved him and wanted him back. He eventually agreed to try again, but because I was feeling very insecure and paranoid that he had been with someone else I expected everything to return to normal straight away, even when he said things would take time.

After drinking far too much at the weekend I was actually violent to him after asking far too many questions about the other woman, then couldn't take some of the answers he gave me about sex etc.

He Moved Out, But Is Willing To Try

He has now agreed to move out, after a few days separation I saw him briefly and he said he was sad about it ending and that he did mean it when he said he wanted to try.

I was obviously very messed up in the head and was seeing a lot of negative things that weren't there. He also has problems from his past that are affecting him.

I feel like I am losing him for good even though I know we will remain friends. I am in therapy at the moment and he plans to o the same. If we once loved each other very much is there any chance after separation and therapy etc. that we can learn to live with each other again?

-- Susie

Female, age 29, UK

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