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Will my husband be jealous of a dying man?

Dear Panel,

I can't break off the relationship because it would devastate my friend. He has expressed profound happiness in the last few weeks, telling me that my friendship is the best gift anyone could have given him. He is much happier, and at peace.

Is befriending a dying man, hazardous to my marriage?

-- Elizabeth

Female, age 33, USA

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I am a 33-year-old, attractive, successful business person,wife, mother of one (son). My husband and I have an above average income, been married for 4 years, together 8 years.

His Life Expectancy Is 12 to 18 Months

The other person is a 38-year-old single man, never married, no children, above average income, educated, professional investment realtor from Canada. He's been diagnosed with terminal illness, life expectancy 12 to 18 months.

We Met Online

We met while working on research for a geologic anomaly located in the state and nearby county where I live in in the States. We met online, through a discussion board. We exchanged email and found that we had similar interests.

He Felll In Love With Me

Several months later, he confessed he had fallen in love with me. And later that month confided that he was not expected to live past the end of this year. He is a wonderful person, and his background check revealed that he was being truthful, and that his illness is indeed for real.

He Wants Me By His Side When He Goes

However, I am married. I began having feelings for my new friend, and now I feel very close to him, especially since he has no one close to him at this painful time in his life. He initially chose to distance himself with friends and family. He told me last night, that he wants me to be the one who is there with him when he dies. I am willing to do this, but I am afraid my husband won't understand, and that I am already in for heartbreak no matter what I do.

I can't break off the relationship because it would devastate my friend. He has expressed profound happiness in the last few weeks, telling me that my friendship is the best gift anyone could have given him. He is much happier, and at peace.

Is befriending a dying man, hazardous to my marriage?

-- Elizabeth

Female, age 33, USA

Bella, Charlie, and Judith answer this question.

 

 

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