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Keep trying if she isn't?

Dear Panel,

Right now she's busy in her new job, we never talk about the past, sex life is non existent. We live with our parents, we're both stressing and sometimes we're great together yet I have never felt fully and wonderfully happy.

She's content to not even try to be either! What the heck should I do? I have no experience in this stuff!

-- Inexperienced

Male, age 21, London UK

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I am one of those nice guys you hear about!

We're Both Depressed

I have mild depression for which I seek past regression therapy for. I am 21-year-old and from England and my current girlfriend of 7 months is my first ever relationship. She is also 21 and we have been friends for 3 years ish, though never close. She has a past of sexual abuse and is suicidal and very depressed.

She Was Sexually Abused

We've been going out 7 months, it was originally a friend asking out a friend crisis that eventually paid off. But that was about 4/5 months before we start going out. During that time I learned she was being sexually abused by her then boss. She said she never said "no" though and thought she never had a case for rape.

I tried to cover up my feelings and tried to just be there for her...that was my technique for quite a while.

I Lost My Virginity To Her

Two months after we started going out we then started to have sex. I was a virgin and she was not. She never talks about past partners or anything and because she's really negative about them. I assume they ended badly.

We Don't Have Sex Anymore

We had sex 5 times in 7 months, in the back of a row of shops where the trash bins are stored. I hate it! So now, we don't have sex and haven't for 2 months. I miss it though.

I Can't Communicate With Her

Plus I just cannot talk to her about my feelings on anything, due to my own issues I can't identify some at times either. She wants us to be able to argue too, which I just can't.

We express our love for each other via words yet sometimes I don't feel it from her. But she has stressed a lot of times that she does.

Right now she's busy in her new job, we never talk about the past, sex life is non existent. We live with our parents, we're both stressing and sometimes we're great together yet I have never felt fully and wonderfully happy.

She's content to not even try to be either! What the heck should I do? I have no experience in this stuff!

-- Inexperienced

Male, age 21, London UK

Jen, Diva, and Roopz answer this question.

 

 

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