My, my, my, I couldn't help but shake my head throughout this whole letter.
Girl, you have your priorities all messed up! You say you are a Christian and you try to act Christian yet you try to seduce people just so you can lose your virginity to them? Something doesn't quite add up here.
I know it's hard to be good all the time, but you made it sound like it was your purpose in life to have premarital sex with this guy. Let's not forget this guy has PLAYED with you all year long too!
First of all, I want to know why this guy was so important to you? You sound like all you wanted out of him was sex. He may have messed with your emotions, but you aren't helping yourself much either by throwing yourself at him.
You Treat Guys Like Meat
You talk about the "other guy" like he is just a piece of meat. Saying "I just wanted to get it over with." No matter how awful guys can be, no guy OR girl deserves to be treated like that. Girls can use guys just as easy as guys use girls. If you don't watch out you might find yourself in that category.
You Need A Hobby, Besides Sex
Another thing I'd like to know is why are you, at such a tender age, so wrapped up in sex? Do you have nothing better to do with your life than daydream about "losing it" to some guy who won't give you the time of day? It sounds like you need something to do.
Don't you have girlfriends you can hang out with? Or are you one of those girls who thinks they can only be happy with a guy. Trust me, you don't need a guy to be happy. You might just be more happy without one.
On a more serious note, sex is not something that should be taken lightly. I speak from experience and truth. My 17-year-old cousin just got pregnant. She said it was her first time and the condom must have broken. Did you even know that that can happen?
Girls need to know that pregnancy doesn't just affect them, it affects those around them. We are all hurting because of this great change in her life. It's not going to be easy, and she needs to learn that, which she will, so maybe you can learn too before it's too late.
Don't Waste Any More Time On Him
In answer to your questions, NO don't even waste your time pursuing him. There's no such thing as keeping him now. He's obviously only interested in you because you practically rip off your pants when he walks into the room.
Chill out and find a man you can respect, and who will take the time to respect you. Or better yet, ENJOY YOUR TEENAGE FREEDOM! You've got your whole LIFE ahead of you. Go make something of it.