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Dear Panel,

...he told me that I was a slut because after he asked me to be his girlfriend we messed around the next day, and even after we broke up, I continued sleeping with him.

Did he call me a slut because he really felt that way, or because he was trying to show off in front of his friend?

-- Hurt & Confused

Female, age 15, New York

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

I got together with my ex in late January. We didn't sleep together, but we messed around, and a week later, he broke up with me and told me that it was because of our age difference.

I Agreed To A Purely Physical Relationship

After he broke up with me, he told me that he wanted to know if we could continue with a "physical" relationship. I really liked him and hoped that we would eventually get back together, so I agreed.

About a month and a half later, I felt myself falling in love with him and ended up losing my virginity to him. We continued sleeping together until late June, but as it continued I started to realize that I wasn't being treated fairly, and he didn't want to be with me.

I Ended It

So when he called me and asked me for a favor, I told him to do me a favor and forget my f------ number. He asked me why I was so upset and I told him that he didn't care about me.

He Wanted To Stay Friends

He then asked if we could continue being friends without the sex. The next day, some of my friends and one of his guy friends were on the phone discussing the situation. I asked to speak to him alone, but he wouldn't and got an attitude.

He Called Me A Slut

To make a long story short, he told me that I was a slut because after he asked me to be his girlfriend we messed around the next day, and even after we broke up, I continued sleeping with him. He then he went on and said that he didn't even really believe that I was a virgin becasue if I had been, I wouldn't have given it up to him so easily while we weren't "together'.

I know that I lost my virginity to him, and I know that I'm not a slut, but it really hurts that he would say something like that to me.

I wanted to know your thoughts on the situation and I wanted to know if you thought that he called me a slut because he really felt that way, or because he was trying to show off in front of his friend because I was the one that tried to end it.

I don't know what to do because sometimes I find myself feeling guilty because I wonder what could have happened if I stayed around longer. Maybe he wouldn't hate me today.

-- Hurt & Confused

Female, age 15, New York

Brian, Foxy, and Jody answer this question.

 

 

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