Mr. Sensitive Comments:
Read this advice carefully, or else I will never, ever, answer your questions again!
How did the sentence above make you feel?
Nobody likes threats.
I have 2 rules about ultimatums:
Keep Them to Yourself
There is nothing wrong with ultimatums, as long as you don't tell the other person that you have made one. In other words, you can give yourself a deadline: "If things do not change by summer, I am out of here."
It's Counter-Productive To Tell Someone To Change
I have found, however, that it is counter-productive to say to the other person, "If you don't change by summer, I am leaving you."
If You NEED an Ultimatum, Focus on Your Feelings
The farthest I would go is to tell the other person how I feel, "I am not comfortable with this. If things did not change by summer, I am not sure that I would stay in this relationship any longer."
You Had Better Mean It
But, under NO circumstances, should you even hint at an ultimatum unless you are absolutely, 100% sure, without a doubt, willing to follow through.
If you make a threat, and then do not follow through, the other person will never respect you, or the relationship, again.
What do you think of Mr. Sensitive's Answer?