Dear Panel,

Why is it when I am lucky enough to find a girlfriend, they dump me and the reason they dump me they say is cause I am "too nice"?

I haven't had a relationship in 6 years cause of that. I hate getting my heart broken all the time, but I am feeling really lonely now and I wish to have another.

How can I avoid the "you're too nice" bug? I know it sounds dumb, I just thought being nice was a good thing.

Since I have been trying, girls look at me like I am a freak. I'm always clean. I always shave. What am I doing wrong?

– James

Male, age 28, Pennsylvania

Listen freaky dude, just try parroting some of the things I say in my snappy answers. No one has ever accused me of being too nice, and I should be working on 2nd generation disciples by now.

Instead of being nice and catering to every woman's every whim, try taking charge and becoming more of a challenge?

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Dear Panel,

How do you know when it's time to get engaged?

– Anonymous

Female, age 38, USA

When you decide that you're going to get married.

When the alternative is no longer bearable.

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Dear Panel,

I fell hopelessly in love with this handsome man, but he is 13 years younger and he says his wife walked out on him because he works too hard. He is not interested in a relationship.

I am in pain and there is nothing I can do!

– Marjorie

Female, age 42, Asia

This man's not interested. For happiness, find a man who is.

Take two aspirin and find another man in the morning.

If you try to force a relationship, you'll fail. Just be his friend, give him space and take it a day at a time.

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Dear Panel,

I would like to know the appropriate and effective conversation when I happen to see a girl I love. The first words are unknown to me.

Male, age 21, Africa

Start with "hello" and everything else will fall into place.

Hello, my name is _________.

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Dear Panel,

There's this guy I really like. I don't know if he likes me. Sometimes he acts like he does, and then he doesn't.

We flirt a lot, look onto each others eyes, use body language. We were even asked if we were going out, because we flirted so much.

I really like him but I don't know what to do.

– Angel

Female, age 15, Australia

You should confront your honey and ask him if there is a chance for you two.

Take a little risk, ask him out.

Keep on flirting and maybe he'll get the message if he's not totally stupid.

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Dear Panel,

How to sensitively end a relationship?

– Australia

Female, age 40, Australia

Quickly -- like a Band-Aid.

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Dear Panel,

In January my girlfriend and I stopped talking to each other. She stopped calling me and when I called her our phone calls would be really short and she wouldn't talk much.

I didn't speak to her from January to mid April, when I received a call from her one day, she was crying and saying how sorry she was and how she made a big mistake.

Now it is June we talk everyday on the phone and we write each other emails. The thing is that I am still in love with her but we live like 800 miles away from each other.

She also still hasn't told me why she stopped returning my calls and why now all of the sudden she started calling me again.

– Martin

Male, age 20

Have you asked her why? She owes you an explanation.

Perhaps something happened to her and opened her eyes up, as the saying goes: "You don't know what you've got until it's gone".

Don't dwell on the past , create the future. She knows she did wrong and now it's time to make up for it.

Just because you talk everyday, doesn't mean you're communicating. You need to find out why there was a lapse, FAST. Make your decision based on that.

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Dear Panel,

I am currently in a relationship with a girl I've known for 4 months. She is pregnant now and I am confused if I really love her or not.

How can I tell before we end up married?

– Forrest

Male, age 19, New Mexico

Like you couldn't think about this BEFORE you got her pregnant?

Basically, you should have kept your pants on.

Who said you had to marry her?

Are you the father?

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Dear Panel,

My boyfriend was common law married before and has a son. Now he doesn't want anymore kids or to get married again. He says he loves me and we do live together, but I want to get married. To him, not anyone else.

Should I keep bugging him, or just give it time? We've been together on and off for 6 years.

– Confused and In Love

Female, age 25, USA

Neither. He's told you clearly what he wants. It's your move. Are you willing to live like this? If not, say "bye-bye".

He doesn't want what you want...why waste your time? Changing a man's mind is a crappy way to spend a young life.

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Dear Panel,

About 2 months before I started dating my boyfriend I kissed his best mate. I was single at the time, I then started dating my boyfriend a few months ago who I have known nearly all my life.

Now he doesn't trust me to be around his mate, he thinks I fancy him. I love my boyfriend very much but he doesn't believe me. What should I do?

– Wilson

Female, age 28, Ireland

That kiss was perfectly legal, and poses no threat to your current
relationship. Tell him to either suck it up or kiss off.

There is jealousy, and then there is ridiculous child-like jealousy that shouldn't be tolerated.

Tell him that you loved him very much, but his expectations caused you to go out with his mate. Then do it.

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Dear Panel,

How will I know that my boyfriend really loves me? How will I know that he'll be faithful in our relationship? (Unlike from his past)

– Heri

Female, age 24, Asia

Generally, the past is a good indicator of the future.

You won't know until you try. Trust him until he gives you reason not to.

There are some things that are beyond knowing. Mortality, infinity, and
boyfriends, for instance.

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Dear Panel,

I love my boyfriend, but I am unsure if I should keep seeing him.

We have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months, and see each other for about 6 days a month. But I clearly remember him when we first met, as being a more happier person. Having known him this time, he has let me know that he gets bouts of depression, and I think it is really effecting our relationship. I don't know what to do.

Part of me wants to suggest to him that he should go for counseling, but I KNOW he will find that insulting. Part of me wants to end the relationship with him because I want to be with someone who is happy. And still, part of me wants to stay with the relationship and make it work, because I don't want to break up with him and make him even unhappier.

Please help!

– Sugarbear

Female, age 31, California

Does any part of you want to see a boyfriend more than 6 days a month?

Your relationship with him shouldn't require you to be a social worker. Stay with him only if you love him and he makes you feel good. There's no requirement that you have to stay with a guy who isn't what you want, even if it's because he's unwell. Quit the guilt trip.

Understand, and suggest, that he's got to make himself happy if he
wants happiness with you.

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Dear Panel,

I don't have any friends. I never really have. I am a type of person who doesn't understand the rules of friendship. What are they?

– L. Eastman

Male, age 38, Wyoming

Rule #1: Don't think so much.
Rule #2: Be yourself.

Rule #3: You have to understand.
Rule #4: You have to be loyal.
Rule #5: You have to commit.

Rule #6: Don't talk about the rules of friendship.

Maybe your problem is that you're trying to follow rules instead of being friendly.

Sorry, that's the last question.

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