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Desperately in love in San Diego asks:

I am a very shy person who is in love with her boss.  I have been woking with him for awhile now and my job does not seem to be getting any easier. HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!  yellbut.gifCrazy is good, but I am not able to concentrate at work when he is around.  He has no idea how I feel.  Please help!  What should I do?

Hope Answers:

Been there, did that. Got burned!

You're playing with fire! I once fell in live with and dated my boss, and I ended up REALLY regretting it. If you think it's difficult to work with him now with the feelings

But maybe they wouldn't break up

maretin.gifyou have, I assure you that it would be much, much worse if you pursued a relationship and then broke up.

You could not even imagine a more degrading and uncomfortable experience than having to work with your boss after the relationship is over. Picture yourself sitting in meetings with your boss/ex-boyfriend, possibly going on business trips, spending 8+ hours a day in close proximity, and worse yet, hearing him talk on the phone with the next "victim." What would your next performance evaluation be like? How about taking "directives" (in reality, orders) from him?

That's why she thinks she loves him

Remember: he is in a position of authority over you. The employee-boss relationship carries singletin.gifenough challenges, even when romantic feelings are not involved.

Here is one other factor to think about. In my situation, we had to hide our romantic relationship, because of company policies and office politics. (It just wouldn't have looked good...) The secrecy was fun at first, and it actually intensified our feelings. However, it enabled him to also have another secretive office relationship on the side, which I did not discover until a year later. There were no outward signs that he was involved with her, and I'm sure she received no signs that he was involved with me. Since I did not usually see my other co-workers outside of the office, our paths never crossed. When they went out together in public, they had to maintain a "friendship" demeanor, as we did, which served to hide the relationship well. I'm sure he pulled that one off effortlessly!!

I believe that ultimately, God has a plan for each one of us. If this is the man that God has provided for you, then

I don't believe it

sensTin.gifyou can safely put this relationship on hold for now and trust Him to make it happen some day, perhaps when one of you is in another location or company. But for now, I would recommend not getting yourself into a potentially compromising or uncomfortable position.

Hope, you've nailed it.

readerTF.gifI guarantee that if you pursue a romantic relationship with your boss, and it goes sour, you will regret it in the aftermath!


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