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Back to what triggered this response.

Jody said:

If Patrick is using the porn for masturbation, which he probably is, he is demonstrating that he sees women as a tool to be used for self-satisfaction. Sex to him is something he GETS not a relationship he HAS.

A Reader Responds:

Hope said:

If you think the looking and lusting have gone unnoticed and have caused no harm up to this point, I can assure you that it will eventually be a problem in your relationship. We KNOW when you are looking, and a smart woman would not put up with it.

 I'm a woman in a committed relationship. I still notice other men, and I hope my boyfriend still notices other women. We don't point this out to one another. I'm curious: why would any "smart woman", as you put it, harrass or discard a good man just for his private thoughts? What about fantasies we all have? These "naughty" thoughts are sometimes the spice that is needed to keep a relationship fresh- what actually keeps a partner from straying.

Not to mention, we're talking biology here!! How can you make this man feel as if he were being untrue or as if he is somehow dysfunctional or thoughtless?

 Jennifer in Albuquerque


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