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Lisa asks:

I have just turned 16 years old, and I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months.  I am unsure whether I still love him, I sometimes think that I deserve better, I have cheated on him a few times, but those kisses really didn't mean anything to me.  I have met this guy who is really sweet without trying to be, he is really cute, really funny and has the best personality.  The only yellbut.gifthing is that he is my boyfriends best friend.  Should I kiss this guy, and see what I feel for him, or not?

Hope Answers:

First things first... You need to figure out your relationship with the boyfriend you have before you even think about another one. If you are unsure about your feelings for him and think you deserve better, then maybe you should take some time away and enjoy some freedom for awhile. Cheating is never the answer! You need to be honest with yourself and with him and step out of the relationship if it is not what you want. And don't forget - you deserve the best that God has for you, so don't settle for mediocre!


Kissing Him Will Tell You Nothing

In regard to the other boy, kissing him is not a good way at all to determine if you have feelings for him. That will only confuse you more. Physical activity is so deceptive... Once you get involved that way, your feelings heighten from the intense emotional high that comes from a romantic encounter. This can - and often does - cloud clear thinking to the point where you make bad choices based on feelings of infatuation or lust that will eventually dissipate anyway.

The best thing to do is to just be his friend. In the process of time, you will discover (without all of the risk) what he is really like without having to get involved physically. (Funny how the

Come on! We're talking High School, not Sunday School

aliciaLtin.gif"real" person emerges after a few months or so..)You will either grow closer to him and develop a meaningful lasting friendship (an excellent basis for a future relationship), or you will discover things about him that you dislike. Plus, by pushing the physical stuff aside at this point, you are able to spend more time really getting to know him. Your focus will be more on each others' inner qualities and the things that really matter in the long run. It seems that we often skip this important step and rush right into the physical part, which ultimately creates more heartache down the road when things go bad.


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