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Lonely Heart asks:

Here I find myself back in the dating game after being married for 13 years, separated one. I am a 34 year old male, father of two wonderful kids, 11 year old boy and 12 year old daughter. Kim was my High School sweetheart and my first true love. REJECTION is a major issue here since she is the one that asked for the DIVORCE. After a year, yellbut.gifloneliness kind of sets in and get old quick. I am totally lost in the single scene.

Lefty Answers:

Is ANYONE out in the singles scene having fun? Who are those popular people who never encounter rejection, never are humiliated, who always hook up with their perfect mate on their first meat scene?  Barring meeting that perfect singles kind-of-person, I think pretty much all of us are faced with "REJECTION", "LONELINESS", and feeling "LOST".  For those aforementioned perfect singles people, please stay away from me because I would beat you to a putty out of jealousy.

Rejection is a terrible thing, but fortunately, or unfortunately, loneliness is one of the keys to making us normal people face possible rejection and undertake the uncertainty of putting ourselves on the line.  Well, how DO us normal people handle it?  How can YOU, as vulnerable as you are, handle it?


Rejections Affects Self-Worth

One of the most important factors in how rejection affects us is our sense of self-worth.  Losing your sweetheart/wife has slammed your sense of self-worth, of self-importance.  On the other hand, you have far more than many of us ordinary mortals.

I disagree, it is BECAUSE it has  failed that i am having difficulty getting back into the scene.

  readerT.gifYou have been married for many years so you know it CAN work.  You have a loving core family to support you.  From your letter, the only bad thing affecting you is that a loved one has rejected you.  Granted, that is an awful thing to happen and some people may never recover from it.  But you already recognize your good surroundings and indeed recognize your loneliness and need to reach out for companionship.

If you are only "legally" separated, you are still legally "married" and should consider whether you would like to sever more connections to a failed marriag

It hasn't failed yet

ehopeTinL.gif before making yourself available to other relationships.  But continue on the road, count your blessings instead of bowing beneath the awful god of rejection, and maybe you will be able to step up to the plate again.



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