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I have a problem (duh)! 

I dated this guy for about 2 years.  After we broke up, he found out that I had cheated on him, but then I found out that he had gone out with his ex after we had broken up, but while we were still talking (and intimate).

  We were both wrong, but he acts as if he is innocent and he places all the blame on me.  We still talk, go out, don't see other people and etc.  as if we were a couple, but he says that he doesn't know if he can trust me enough to get back together with me?

I love him too much to let him go.  I have even tried to go out with other people, but I always end up crying & missing him when I'm with someone else!  Any advice?

yelbtblk.gif

 Lonely & Confused

Lefty Answers:

Dear Lonely and Confused,

Well, at least you seem to be with someone who matches you tit for tat.  I'm not sure who's to blame at this point, and really, who cares?  One important question is: Is the relationship worth saving?

She needs to win back his trust through actions  not words

hopeTinL.gif I certainly can understand why your "boyfriend" would say that he doesn't know if he can trust you. It takes time to build trust, and a lot more time to build broken trust.  Sometimes it's impossible, and it doesn't seem as if you want to invest the necessary time.

The $1,000,000 Question

But another important question to ask is: If you love this guy so much, why did you cheat in the first place?  It's even harder to build trust if you don't have a good idea of why you cheated, and why you won't cheat again.

Perhaps an agreement or understanding with your "boyfriend" is in order.  Find out if there's anything you can do to build his trust and see if he's willing to work with you and reciprocate in his part of the relationship.  Couples' counseling is a possibility, again if he's willing.

But if he is not willing, it would be time to break loose with the

Yep, break loose and time will heal

aliciaLtin.gifpast, find another guy, and use the lesson that you've hopefully learned.

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif

 

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