Ask a Question
Meet lefty

Meet the Panel
All Questions
How do I turn a friendship into more?


Dear LL,

Wouldn't it be great if nobody ever had to take a risk?  If before we took a class we knew that we would enjoy it?  Or that one profession was definitely the correct one for us?  Or that a person was our perfect mate by telepathic osmosis, with no conscious input by any concerned party?

Uh, no?  Maybe we wouldn't grow as people, nor have relationships evolve or devolve, nor make meaningful discoveries about others or ourselves?

My "Push-To-Shove" Method

OK, I'm going to lighten up here and give you "Lefty's Passive Aggressive Indirectly Direct Push-to-Shove Theory to Resolving Romantic Interest". 
Mare I have my own method too!

This theory has been formulated and refined over the years by shooting the breeze with my buds and comparing notes with them.  It goes something like this:

The Small Overture

If you are "romantically" interested in another (maybe not want sex, but sexual feelings are a big part of my current understanding of your question), and you are not sure if the other likes you in "that way", you make a small overture, e.g. put your arm around the other.  This is known as the "push" stimulus. 
Reader raf Kind of lame putting your arm around someone and waiting for a reaction.


  1. If the other responds by putting an arm around you and escalating the situation, it is known as a positive response and creates a positively escalating loop, which may result in romantic entanglement.

  2. If the other person, on the other hand, jumps off the couch, reacts as if bitten by a small spider with an hourglass on its stomach, or slaps you, it is known as a negative or "shove" response.  Most people would have their answer at this point.

  3. However, the ambiguous response that has occurred many times in my past campaigns, often called the "zombie" response, may cause you to still wonder if that other person likes you in "that way".  Not a problem.  Merely repeat the stimulus with a small escalation, e.g. moving your arm closer to an erogenous zone.

My Guarantee

Alicia Lefty, I think you should stick with the "asking him" method.

One of the few guarantees coming from this web site is that I guarantee this course will resolve your dilemma one way or the other.

Or You Could Talk

Of course, if you talked with your friend about these issues which are serious to you and concern both of you, that might resolve this situation too. But my theory has often turned out to be more fun, and more decisive, especially for those of us who are action-oriented.



What do you think of Answer?

What part of this answer are you reacting to?

What do you think?

Signature to use with your reaction:

Your gender:


Your age:

Your location:

optional: email address (WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED)





Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design