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Unfortunately and fortunately, not all guys are the same. One guy's flirting can mean he really likes you, another man might just want to get physical with you, and still another may feel like you are the sister they never had, but always wanted. But come on, where are those female instincts? Get them to work and trust them. If he "fancys" you, you should be able to see it in the subtleties.
I am the kind of person that has never been shy about letting someone know how I felt about them I could tell them in person, on the phone, even write letters. Opening yourself up for the possible rejection gets easier and easier, and most of the time, the risk dissolves when he responds to let you know that he feels the same. Most people are at least flattered if you make the first move, or initiate the "what are we?" conversation, so I wouldn't expect any major jolts or hyper-insensitivity.
If you have to find out, ask him and if it fails, chalk it up, move forward, find someone else, and try it again. If he's not the one, keep going and eventually you will tune your senses to the point where you don't need to ask, you just know.