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Reader Confused

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Why does my husband play sex roles online?
The Panel answered Confused's question, and here is what she has to say:


Reader Confused Responds:

I Still Feel Threatened

I am the author of this question and I appreciate all the points of view. This has been a very complicated time for me and my husband. I had no idea that he was doing all this online stuff and I felt (and still feel) a little threatened by it because if things are good at home, why should he need to look anywhere else. 

I Don't Want To Open Old Wounds

I also spoke with a male friend of mine and tried to get his point of view of the whole situation and he said in a way it is like looking at magazines or movies. Things outside the bedroom are good, we are good friends and we tell each other everthing. We go on dates with one another, watch movies together and go for walks etc.  I know he has still done the online things occasionally, and I want to question him on it, but I don't want to bring up old wounds that are still in the healing process. 

He Shares His Fantasies with Me

I have found that we are both very sexual people.  Our situation has brought out the best in me sexually as I don't feel weird about sexual expression anymore, since he gets me to tell him about my fantasies and he shares his with me (no matter what they are). I have to say that I never thought that we could be closer than what we are now.

I Feel More Secure

Compared to how I felt when I first asked the panel this question and today, I feel much more secure in our relationship and more open. We are communicating more with one another, which is a BIG thing. We express our love to one another in more ways outside the bedroom than inside the bedroom.

Thanks for your opinions.

– confused (but only a little anymore)



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