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Dear Panel,

My best friend has been in love with this guy for almost a year, but he doesn't even care about her.  About 2 months ago he started calling me, and before I knew it I was in love with him and he returned those feelings.  I haven't told my friend yet because she has been gone for 3 months.  I don't know whether to forget him and stay with my friend, or how to break to her the news. Can you help me?


Dazed and Confused in Houston

Lefty Answers:

Dear Dazed & Confused in Houston,

Wow, that little 4-letter word comes easy for you.  "Love".  It must be easy for all of you guys to fall in love.  And that other 4-letter word "best" comes real easy too.  I'm sure that you are super supportive of your "best" friend in everything EXCEPT for "love" affairs, right?

When you say that your best friend was in love with this guy for a year, do you mean it was love from afar?  Do you mean it was TOTALLY your friend and that the guy didn't respond at all?  Or do you mean that now the guy is telling you that he never cared for her.  Pardon me for being a little suspicious, but myself being a guy and all...

Anyway, it's up to you to make the big decisions.  There are already consequences for what you have done.  I hardly think that your best friend will be ecstatically happy when she finds out that you've been seeing her object of "love".

So, you should be honest first.

maretin.gif And find out she will.  By continuing your relationship with this guy, you will probably alienate your best friend.  If you drop this guy and try to keep your best friend, you may resent her for that and miss out on your one chance for "true" love.  It's a dilemma, isn't it?

I would suggest cooling it with this guy temporarily, and seeing if everyone can be friends without being so much in "love".  The situation will probably shake out so that you can see who's mad at who and who likes who.


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