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Dear Panel,

I am  gay 22 year old male, And my bofriend is 22 years old also,My question is he was involved with a girl for about three years and eventualy had a child together.But she is always in the picture and makes e kind of jealous and feel like im not wanted. Is there any way you can help me with this?



Mare Answers:

When you feel jealous in a situation like that, your tendency is to hold tighter in hopes of keeping your lover focused on you.   The problem is, this rarely works.  Instead, you need to be supportive of your boyfriend's relationship with his family and let him enjoy that.

No, but there could be legitimate problems.

  guestFtin.gifRemember that your boyfriend is with YOU.  He made a choice to have a relationship with you.   Your relationship is not threatened by his family.

Find ways that you can move your focus away from the ex-girlfriend.  Allow your boyfriend time to see his family, with or without you.   Make sure you are keeping close friendships of your own.  That way, you can spend time with your friends when he is with his family.  Friends are wonderful people to be around.

Based on the timing you describe, I'm guessing that your boyfriend did not come out until recently.  Coming out - as you probably know - can be emotionally draining, exhilarating, frightening and more.  If either of you need to talk to someone, go to a local lesbian and gay center or visit one of the gay and lesbian websites that offer emotional support.  You'll find lots of great people who have gone through experiences just like yours.

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