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How do I get over that I'm not fiancée's first?

Dear Panel,

I love my fiancée very much. 

The problem is, though, that she was my first but I was her second, so our first times were two totally different experiences.  And, we will never be able to share that moment together. 

Also, over time I think about it, I also get these mental pictures of "them."  He turned out to be abusive to her and the last months were very bad and she says that there's not a day that goes by that she doesn't wish she could take it all back. 

I want to know how to get over my hangups though, because it's ruining our sex life. Everything was fine until today when it finally bothered me so much that I had to bring it up.  Up until now, she was fine and I tried not to think about it so much. 

Please help me see that it's just us now.  Thank you.

Troubled Sex Life


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