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Here is my situation,  My husband left me in February, one week after I had a hysterectomy.  He left for his net girlfriend, the divorce was final 6 months later.  This was the second time we were separated, this time he didn't ask me back before he was remarried. 

Anyway, about 2 months before my divorce was final I met this guy I really liked.  I had gone out with other guys, but this guy seemed special to me.  We waited until my divorce was final before we slept together. We have become really close and spent entire weekends together went away for a weekend to a state park and had  a wonderful weekend.  He had told me he was falling in love with me. 

Well then my ex started having lots of problems ,

Your ex should not be talking to you about these things.

maretinblk.gifended up in  psy. hospital for a week or so and asked me to be friends again and for us to go out together with the kids, he wanted to do more things,  and also complaining about his new wife to me.  I told him that it was over for him and me, anyway my boyfriend asked me if I wanted  him to stay away for awhile and I told him "no".  We have become so close since then and I opened up my heart and he asked me if I was falling in love with him and I said "yes".  Well shortly after  he says, "I need time". During this time I talked to my boyfriend about 2 hours about everything that was going on, I guess because of that he says I am still grieving, and that is normal. 

I was married for 18 years, I am now 36, my boyfriend is 43,  he says he cares enough about me to see me grow and heal, he wants to be friends for now,

He is right, rebouinds are bad.

maretinblk.gif just take things slow, he still wants to see me, he wants me to go out with other guys, he doesn't want to be the rebound relationship, he wants more, he says those kind of relationships don't last and he wants more from me, he says if we are still together in a few years then we will talk about what he had, he said he had actually fantasized being married to me,

It is possible that he is getting cold feet.

maretinblk.gifI was sort of shocked about that, anyway now he says I need time, he is scared I think because he was in a relationship before right after his marriage with a woman that was separated and she went back to her husband, he said it was wonderful and he felt in love with her and it just ended and he didn't want to go through that again.

So I do not know if I should still be friends with him, I really care for him, or just let him go, should I see other guys and if I do ,

It depends on wether you can accept and live with what he is saying

maretinblk.gifhe asks me questions about it and should I tell  him, I am really close to him, but I somehow think he isn't being as close to me as I am being to him, he said he wanted our relationship to be more than sex, he said he was taking a chance you know if you love something let it go and if it comes back then true love, when I didn't call him because I took it he wanted to break up with me he said he missed my calls and still wanted to talk to me, and he never told me he wanted to break up with me, he still wants to see me, just slow things down some, I feel like I should have never slept with him and told him that , and I feel used, and he broke my heart, and I also told him I really cared for him and I wasn't going to give up on him.

So any advice, I have two kids, 7 and 12, he has custody of his 8 year old daughter I have a good job, I have a masters degree, so any advice on should I still see him or just let him go, he says he wants to see me, see my smile, some people say he is just letting me down easy, I don't know, maybe he is right I

He is right, you need time.

maretinblk.gifdo need time, but if he cared about me why would he want me to be with other guys,   I am having a real hard time with this, I trusted again and it seems like I got burned, 

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