Dear Moving to NYC Anyway, Maybe your girlfriend wouldn't believe that anyone would WANT to move to NY. All my relatives have moved away from there. Oops, except for my favorite Cousin Mikey, that is. You've had a long distance relationship for over a year, which is a pretty long time in my book. I couldn't quite figure out how long you both saw each other day-to-day, but it doesn't seem like it was that long. Reading between the lines, maybe she isn't as crazy about you as you are about her, and she just hasn't communicated that to you. I know that you say that your long distance relationship has been beautiful. But I'm reading into that because my feeling is that if a long distance relationship is really that good for a long time, why wouldn't both parties want to make the change to close distance? OK, so let's say you're correct and the problem she has is a result of her parents' bitter divorce. What more can you do than move to her city and try to make it work? I guess you can try to force her to go to therapy, but that's a long-term thing and she won't go unless SHE wants to. It seems to me that if you're moving to NYC for many reasons other than her, as you've written here and repeatedly said to her, that you can't go wrong. Reestablishing a meaningful non-commuting relationship with her would be big big big bonus points, and what your heart desires at present. But being close to her might mean you could keep her as a good friend (without a 1000 mile commute), or as just another friend to help you relocate to a new city. Lefty, if you don't know the difference between a friend and a long distance girlfriend you should read the anser gave to MikeyG from Alaska | I don't know if you could deal with having her as "just a friend", but if it's acceptable to you, that could happen, and it's also how I characterize most long distance relationships anyways. I do think you're right about this "too much space" thing. Not only might she fade away, but if you're constantly having to back off from more than you feel like in order to give her "more space" or to lessen the "pressure", then this relationship is probably not what you are looking for. Good luck in the Big Apple. Lefty |