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Dear Panel,

I am a college student in a class with a fabulous woman.  She has the qualities I'm looking for.  The problem?  She's 23 and has been seeing her current boyfriend for 6 years. He's ready to settle down, she isn't.  He's also very controlling in that he doesn't like her to go out with her friends.

Normally, I wouldn't interfere in a relationship, but we were hanging out one night and she told me her situation and how they've been moving apart for quite a while. I've told her how I feel, and that I'm not trying to force her to make a decision. She's also told me that she has feelings for me, but is confused as to what to do because she's been with this guy for so long.  yelbtblk.gifWhat do I do to win her, yet not look like a scumbag?  Help me!

Knight in Shining Armor

Judith Answers:

Although I think most people have some great qualities, fabulous is a word that only describes a few special people who we feel completely natural and right with.  Is that what you told her when you told her what you feel?  It's probably not a good idea to ask her to break up with her boyfriend, but telling her that you would love to try a relationship with her if she was single couldn't hurt . .

The only thing to remember here is that the decision is completely hers. You are not going to be able to force her to fall madly in love with you and break off all

He should just be a friend.

aliciaLtin.gifcontact with her boyfriend.  But you can at least present her with the option so she knows there are alternatives to her current situation.  She might just think the alternative is better!

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif







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