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Dear Panel,

I am a college student in a class with a fabulous woman.  She has the qualities I'm looking for.  The problem?  She's 23 and has been seeing her current boyfriend for 6 years. He's ready to settle down, she isn't.  He's also very controlling in that he doesn't like her to go out with her friends.

Normally, I wouldn't interfere in a relationship, but we were hanging out one night and she told me her situation and how they've been moving apart for quite a while. I've told her how I feel, and that I'm not trying to force her to make a decision. She's also told me that she has feelings for me, but is confused as to what to do because she's been with this guy for so long.  yelbtblk.gifWhat do I do to win her, yet not look like a scumbag?  Help me!

Knight in Shining Armor

Mare Answers:

Let me just apologize in advance, because I know you're going to hate this.  You can't be her knight in shining armor.  Knights work best in cases of dragons, pestilence, and medieval witches.  Not that great for modern problems. Her boyfriend may be controlling, but she's a free woman. She's not being held captive in the evil prince's tower.  She's going to have to decide this one on her own.

The best way you can be of knightly,

But he should let her know that he is available.

singletin2.gifchivalrous service to her is to be her friend. (I told you you weren't going to like this!) Someday it may blossom into romance, but for the time being,

He should let her know that she has options.

singletin2.gif things are way too complicated for you to step in.  What's going on is between her and her boyfriend.

Just for a minute, let's say I've got this all wrong.  Why not just steal her away from the evil prince and set up castle somewhere else?

Which is why her boyfriend doesn't trust her.

singletin2.gifFirst, would you trust that she'd stay true to you after she did that to her boyfriend? Second, if things don't work out, will she resent that you stole her away?  Third, maybe she needs some time to be her own person. After all, she's never been single as an adult.

Remember what happened to King Arthur, Guenievere, and Lancelot.  Not a happy ending. But I'm sure of one thing - there is someone out there for you.

 

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif

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